*These lyrics belong to Incubus and Incubus will forever be a part of this experience.
To whom it may concern:
You know this concerns you. Today, everything was fine / Until roundabout, quarter to nine / I suddenly found myself in a bind / Was it something I said? / Something I read and manifested that's getting you down? I'd been thinking all day; thinking of how to let you know that I love you, but that I'm concerned about your life. That's the position of a best friend, right? To not always agree, to sometimes challenge, but always to love and never to judge, right? I thought that's what I did. I know that's what I did.
I watched your face watching mine. You told me the news. You'd thought I'd be happy; you should have known that I would have been logical. I tried to lessen the blunt of my concerns. I thought that I had. Your eyes never faltered and never became angry as I spoke. I thought you understood that all I wanted to do was show you love my friend. Don't you dare come to bed with that ambiguous look in your eye / I'd sooner sleep by an open fire and wake up fried.
Say what you will, say what you mean / You could never offend, your dirty words come out clean. I know that you don't agree with my spirituality. I knew that was a fact when you said that'd I stop at nothing to get what I wanted, which is a Ph.D., even if not stopping meant ignoring Heavenly Father's Plan for me. Instead of telling me you were worried about the choices I was making, you made me feel guilty as you snapped your quick retort down like a clamp on my dreams. I shouldn't have let you do that. I should have communicated with you, but I was hurt - hurt because you don't really know me at all if you would say that.
After I spoke to you, for what looks like, ultimately, the last time, you said you'd call tomorrow so we could watch a flick. Little did I know that you wouldn't call. Tomorrow, what price will I pay?/ Could I make it all up to you by serving coffee for two in bed?/ Would you then give me the time of day? No, I could never make you coffee to be in your good graces. You hate the fact that I work at Starbucks. Starbucks isn't for Mormons, but I work there anyway on Sunday mornings and race home to teach Sunday School anyway.
I need a map of your head
Translated into English so I can learn to not make you frown
You'd feel better if you'd vent
Put your frustrations into four letter words and let them out on mine
The most weathered ears in town
If this is it, if this has to be goodbye, then know that I wish you well. I want so much happiness for you, and that, in truth, is why I voiced my concerns. I never wanted you as anything more than a friend. I did want you to stay longer than you have though. All I ask is that you Say what you will, say what you mean / No, You could never offend, your dirty words come out clean.
3 comments:
Wow! Your writing is brilliant and you are beautiful. Kudos!
this is good stuff! It's amazing when you find the exact words taht you need to discribe how you feel!
{{Sarah}}, my dear.
Human beings cannot resist judgment. It comes from fear and usually out of the desire to resist looking at our own failings, and to falsely make ourselves feel better than the object of our judgment. Plainly spoken, judgment is never about you. It is about the person whom is judging.
Real Friends don't judge, they discern. Real Friends may find difficult the need to discuss or to tell you something, but they don't run from difficult communication. Remember, it is never easy to hear what we need to change or be aware of in order to evolve. Those who can neither tell nor hear are stagnant. They usually run to others by whom they can be comforted and told they aren't really "insensitive" or "inconsiderate" or "ungrateful."
This is not you, or how you maintain friendships. You discern, you tell, you hear. This, Sarah, is what Real Friends do for one another.
It is painful when one reveals that one is not your Real Friend. It is sad that this person is willing to disregard your faithfulness, your genuine heart (and those genuine hearts do make mistakes, but the difference is that they are willing to acknowledge contribution or cause or plain wrong doing), your gift of being a Real Friend.
Fortunately! You have moi :D And Joe :D And Chels :D And Buster :D And...and...er, what's the name of your MacBook again? ;)
Love you.
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