Freshman Thought for the Day

I thought I'd share a thought from one of my ENG 105 students. Today was the second day of class. As it ended, I collected a questionnaire that had been handed out yesterday.

Student giving the paper to me, "I almost didn't do this because I was like, 'There's no way I could have homework on the first day.'"

Me, "........"

Silly freshman, no homework on the first day is for kids.

Dirty Laundry

Okay. I try not to air out too much dirty laundry in the way of my romantic relationships in the public arena. While there are many reasons for this, I feel that my reasoning for this is two-fold. One. If things are going well, I'm afraid I'll eventually have to eat my gloaty-shorts when things go the way of the proverbial creek. Two. If things are non-euphoric, I don't want to be passive aggressive or tacky by complaining about every little thing. (Out of many personality traits, the passive aggressive trait has the ability to annoy me like Billy Mays - RIP -, large crowds of loud, trashy people and unattended, whaling children at the Wal-Mart, and the emission of strange odors.) Anyways, since life has been pretty slow as of late and I'm seriously at a loss about what the mature and grown-up thing is to do, I'm airing out some unmentionables tonight.

About a month ago I ended a relationship because we wanted very different things from a relationship and from life. It was headed down the tube either way, but I tapped out first. (Admittedly, it was empowering to do so ;).) The end wasn't messy; very simple in fact - only a few awkward and WTF? parts.

Most of the ties have been cut. I'm no longer friends with his sisters on Facebook and he unfriended me on Netflix (Dear Techonology, Thanks for making breaking up more complicated. Love, Slarue). There's just this matter of a book (my favorite kid's book) and an iPod adapter that I lent him and whose possession my possessions are still in. About a week ago, he e-mailed me and asked me how I would like the items returned to me. I asked him to mail them to my house in Utah. He said, well... I think I'd rather give them to any of your friends in Flag.

I didn't immediately return a response. A. I was in Cali (thanks, Rae. I had such an awesome time!). B. I got a new puppy who's wearing the ever-living out of me. C. My extended family is up for the 4th and we've been doing nothing but running around and playing. D. I didn't want to have to re-hash the feelings and thoughts that brought me to the decision to end the relationship in the first place since this is a perfect example of our dynamic. I.E. He thinks I'm needy because I need him to mail the books to me and I think he's selfish for not going to the post office and sending a package media mail. (This would make much more sense if I'd done more blogging in the past.)

Anyways, yes, I should have responded, but alas, I took the easy way out and ignored the problem and simultaneously huffed that the Post Office isn't that far out of the way.

Then another e-mail today (direct quote): "Hope you were not to attached to the things you lent to me =) LOL."

And here is where my problem is. I neither gave permission for my things to be kept, for them to be thrown away, nor did I say they could be given back to me via any other route. Really, I'm not TOO attached because they are just things and I can get them again, but, they are mine. It doesn't really matter if they're given to a friend in Flag other than they become somebody else's responsibility when those things are his responsibility. But, he asked how I wanted them returned to me and I gave a very reasonable option about how I would like and want them returned. It's not like I'm asking for a mailed copy of Bhutan: A Visual Odyssey Across the Last Himalayan Kingdom or for a courier service to deliver a briefcase. It's media mail. Seriously. Two dollars.

And here is where I would like your input, dear reader. What would your response be? Is asking for mail unreasonable when I have friends the book could be given to? Perhaps I should stop letting someone else determine my moods and move onto more productive thoughts like how to train Sassafrass or losing that extra fluff or finding a job after I graduate. Hmmmmm...

This may be the most mundane post ever, but really, it's the culmination of frustration that I'm trying to get past... and really, have done so. It's just reminding me that it was there in the first place. Bleh.

Beginning of Summer Wrap-Up

It's been a long, long time since I've posted anything of substance... and it'll probably be a few more days before that happens. Here's a quick update of my life since my last post/survey:

I did actually cut my hair and I freaking love it. Some days... the lazy days... I miss my long hair and the option of pulling it up, but short hair is spunky and apparently I'm pretty spunky.

One year of grad school down. One to go. Awoooo! I never - EVER - thought I would be so tired, but I made it through finals and grading.

After oscillating between decisions to stay in Flagstaff and move home to Monroe for the summer, I sporadically decided to move home last Wednesday when I was in California visiting my Merrianne for her graduation. So, instead of taking the I-15 to I-40, I just kept going 'til I hit I-70 in Utah and now I'm home. I heart Monroe and my family. It's been so great to be home and I'm pretty sure it will continue to be great to be here and be unemployed until August. I feel pretty good about being here. I'm glad for the peace that comes with making the right decision.

I went to my hermano-ito's Seminary graduation last night. I'm so proud of him. He's graduating from high school on Friday and that's effing weird.

Terminator Salvation is not good. Don't watch it.

Star Trek is awesomesauce. See that one instead.

I'm trying to catch up on all of that great literature I've supposed to have been reading as an English major, but haven't. Right now, I'm reading The Bell Jar and I'm quite enjoying it. Next on the list is Catcher in the Rye.

I think that's about all.... uhhh. Yeah. Sorry for the unenthusiastic, short post but it's all I can muster. I'm about to drop off into a coma induced by Mexican Food.

Survey Time!

It's been a long while since I've posted. Here's a quick update: grad school makes me want to shoot myself in the face daily, teaching is going well, I'm in love with The Appleseed Cast, A Fine Frenzy, and on a different note, Tom's Shoes, I went to my first and second drag show in the past five days, English nerds are amazing, and my favorite comment I heard went a little something like this - I'm walking through the Minneapolis airport, minding my own business. Insert attractive black man who makes eye-contact with me. As I walk past, I hear, "Mmmm. I like 'em tall and thick." Start my own girlish amusement.

Anyways. The real point of my post. If you feel a need to leave a comment justifying your reasoning, please please feel free. I like feedback!

Graphic Novel Euphoria

I shall blog more about this when I am less tired and not recovering from the flu, but I had lunch with Art Spiegelman today. Tonight, I listened to him speak for nearly two hours. Although I've know for a while that I want to get a Ph.D. that will allow me to teach comic books, tonight solidified what I want and need to be doing with my life. And though things change, it looks as though I will be applying for a Ph.D. program directly out of Master's. Woot!

Book List

Okay, I said I wasn't going to post again for a few days, but many of you wanted to know my books list for my independent study course. So, I will be reading:

One Hundred Demons – Lynda Barry (Paired with the film "Lady Vengeance" or any other in the trilogy)
Fun Home: A Family Tragic Comedy – Alison Bechdel
Palestine – Joe Sacco
American Born Chinese – Gene Luen Yang
Same Difference and Other Stories – Derek Kirk Kim (Paired with the film "Oasis")
Pyongyang: A Journey in North Korea - Guy Delisle
The Alcoholic – Jonathan Ames
Epileptic – David B.
Inconegro – Mat Johnson (Paired with "Alien")
Boondocks – Aaron McGruder
Stuck Rubber Baby – Howard Cruse
Indian Summer – Milo Manara (Paired with the film "Smoke Signals" or "The Business of Fancy Dancing")
La Perdida – Jessica Abel
Berlin: City of Stones – Jason Lutes (Paired with "The Lives of Others")
Exit Wounds - Rutu Modan

I avoided some of the more obvious choices for this category, Maus, Persepolis, Jimmy Corrigan, Shortcomings, Ghost World, etc., because I had already read them, some multiple times. When I designed the course, I was looking to expand my base knowledge instead of relying on prior experience. Not to say that I wouldn't love to re-read those because they are wonderful and engaging.

If any of you have more suggestions, I'd be totally open! I'm still looking for films that can be married to the books, hopefully, it's apparent what my system is, but I'm mostly just reading the books and updating my Netflix queue.

Graphic Novel Splendor

I've been posting a lot lately and I'm sure that as soon as the semester kicks into full swing, I'll be backing off, but I did want to share this tidbit. 

For part of my degree, I have to do an independent study and I've chosen to work with my Native American Lit professor from last semester. He is super interested and invested in getting visual narratives and rhetoric up and running here at NAU. In fact, Art Spiegelman will be here at the end of the month and yesterday, the professor and some colleagues of mine hosted the first of four graphic novel work shops that will be held throughout the course of the semester. Our workshops focus on how to integrate visual narratives into composition and literary classrooms.

Anyhoo, my independent study, a course that I put together, will consist of me reading a graphic novel and watching a film a week. The course is called "Women and Minority Representations in Visual Narratives." I'm super stoked because I'm concentrating on laying a foundation for myself so that I can get into a Ph.D. program specializing in visual rhetoric.

I've got all the graphic novels laid out for the course, but if you have any films dealing with women and minorities you feel are specifically interesting, please feel free to suggest them.

Last bit, I just finished "Same Difference and Other Stories" by Derek Kirk Kim today. Awesome. He has a very different style than other graphic novel authors I've read.

Count Your Many Blessings

Proceed with caution. Super Mormony post ahead :D

Many of you are familiar with Mormon culture, and if you are not, well, most Mormons try really hard to be happy. We have this little hymn that goes, "When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed / and you are discouraged thinking all is lost... Count your many blessings / name them one by one / and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done."

Normally, I'd take issue with antiquated advice given 150 years ago in the form of a happy go lucky song, but I really enjoy this hymn... mostly because it reminds me that I'm a complainer who should stop complaining and that, in fact, I am very, very blessed. 

While there are many blessings I can count, there are four I'd like to concentrate on right now. One. Amazingly supportive family and friends. This past week has - make yourself ready for an antiquated Mormon phrase - made manifest to me that I am loved and worthy of being so. Sometimes I lose sight of that and become very hard on myself. My parents and brother made being at home wonderful and splendid over Christmas. Joe reminds me that I'm neat and belong in grad school. Chel reminds me that being a friend and having a friend is awesome. Rae helps me reevaluate myself and understand beautiful concepts. And these things are the very few qualities I can share that begin to show their depth. 

This past week, I had a conversation with an old/new friend, Deb. After a while of talking, she told me that she had put my name on the temple prayer roll, simply because she felt impressed to do so. (The prayer roll is specific to temples because it means that a name is written on a piece of paper and every hour for one week, those names are prayed for.) I can't remember the last time I was so aware of a friend in need when that friend didn't know he or she needed said help in the first place.

Coming back to Flag was super hard for me because my old friend depression started making rounds. Nothing to be concerned about as it has only been slight insomnia and a general laziness - I am now aware and fixing the problem. Woot. Anyways. Since my name has been on the prayer roll, I have not been thinking about it at all actually.... until tonight when I realized that being here has been an incredibly easy transition, my classes are going well, the class that I teach has been going amazingly well, and I've been really happy and active. Friends here have supported me and been extra wonderful this week and I know this is not a coincidence. I have had heavenly help and that is exactly what I need in order to be here and be emotionally and mentally healthy.

This brings me to my second point. I am thankful for temples and the power they bring to this Earth. I'm receiving my endowment in March and I cannot wait to be challenged on a new spiritual level.

Third. I am thankful for the blessings of knowledge, education, and the blessings of being exactly where I need to be.

Lastly. Tonight, I'm really thankful for movies. Yes. Films. My weekend starts tomorrow, Thursday, at 11:30 and I'm cuddling up in my awesome bed and watching some flicks.

Mormony post out!

A Personal Yet Public Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Please help me to be ready for a man like this: amazing link taking you to an extraordinary post.

Musical Countdown 2008

A friend on Facebook recently gave me this idea. So, in no way am I being original here, but I think it'll be fun for me anyways.

Many of you know I have a mild obsession with music, so I thought it would be fun to share my Top 10 new songs of 2008. These songs, sometimes of singular enjoyment, for the most part started some kind of love affair, so if any strikes your fancy, I will love having been able to share with you :D (Note - these songs can now be listened to in my handy-dandy music playlist located on the right.)

10. "December is for Cynics" by The Matches

Oh, The Matches. They are kooky and crazy and weird and I totally love them. It took me a few listens to catch onto their style and actually appreciate it, but I am oh-so glad that I did.

"Used is the new black / Downloads are the new crack / Mocking carols that we hate / Damn, it's easy being great"

9. "My Same" by Adele

Many people have heard the amazing single "Hometown Glory" by Adele, but I think I like this song more. Her voice is so deep and rich - I could listen everyday. Maybe it's the sass in her voice or it could be that she's an amazing beautiful woman who just happens to be fluffy, but I love this song!

"You're so provocative, I'm so conservative / You're so adventurous, I'm so very cautious, combining / You'd think we would and we do"

8. "So Contagious" by Acceptance

It's the type of magically wonderfully romantic sentimental love song that only works it's way into my system once every few years.

"Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected... You're the only one I want to take a shot on / Keep me hanging on, so contagiously"

7. "Jesus Christ" by Brand New

Now, on paper, Brand New should be everything I love in a band, but alas, I do not love them - at all. I have been harsh on their sound and what I felt to be empty lyrics until this song. As such, I make one exception for Brand New and this song is it.

"Jesus Christ has a pretty face / The kind you could find on someone that could save... Well, Jesus Christ I'm alone again / So what did you do those three days you were dead? / Because this problem's gonna last / More than the weekend"

6. "The Dress Looks Nice on You" by Sufjan Stevens

I will dance to this song at my wedding and then make love to it afterwards.

"I can see a lot of life in you / I can see a lot of bright in you / And I think the dress looks nice on you"

5. "Carry Me Home Ohio" by Sun Kil Moon

This song definitely started my love affair with the band. They are a part of my expanding affinity for hippie music. (Also see The RedHouse Painters if you are down with these lyrics/sounds.)

"Green green youth / what about the sweetness we knew / what about what's good and what's true / from those days / can't count to / all the lovers I've burned through / so why do I still burn for you / I can't say." 

4. "Gone" by the Bouncing Souls

Funny story about this band. Sometimes, to get the attention of boys, I will lie about music... in that I will tell them I know about a band and like the band. Now, although I might lie, I definitely try to get a sense of the genre of the band on the off chance I have never heard of them so that I don't sound like an idiot/poser. A very cute boy I used to work with always a shirt with a pirate and a Bouncing Souls logo. I thought to myself, "This has to be a band." And, judging by his personality, I was guessing some kind of old school punk. After initiating a conversation and wowing his socks, I had to look them up when I got home. Although I found this band in 2007 and they are currently in my Top 3 favorites, I did not find this song until 2008. Lying sometimes can get you a few dates and an awesome band :D

"It was a darkness all my own / A song played on the radio / It went straight to my heart / I carried it with me until the darkness was gone."

3. "Not the Same" by Ben Folds

What can I say about Ben? He's an entire package. Lyrics, piano, a rockin' good time, sassiness, satire, and genuine connection. I don't know how I didn't know him before 2008, but I'm addicted now. Nothing beat singing along to this song at his concert in November. Thanks Chel!

"You took a trip and climbed a tree... And you were not the same after that"

2. "Quiet as a Mouse" by Margot & The Nuclear So & So's

This band is my new obsession for the year without a doubt. I listened to this album everyday while in Europe - while flying, almost dying, looking at art, and riding the tube. If there is any band you pick up, please pick up this one. They make me feel like I'm going home.

"When I woke I was alive in somebody's room / I felt life and love and hope infested my bones / Wake up you've got a lot of things to do / Wake up the sun is rising without you."

1. "Your Hand in Mine" by Explosions in the Sky

There are no lyrics to share here because this band is purely instrumental. They have been described as using "mini-crescendos" to convey emotion and feeling - every time they do, I get goosebumps. Listening to this song got me through my first semester in Flag. I used it in a movie I made and when falling asleep under the stars next to the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon. Close your eyes and listen. 

Honorable Mentions -

"Let it Rock" by Kevin Rudolf

"Erection" by The Faint

"The Bitch Went Nutz" by Ben Folds

"Do You Still Hate Me?" by Jawbreaker

"Welcome Home" by Radical Face

"Lex" by Ratatat

"Bad Things" by Jace Everett (awesome song for an awesome series about Vampires :D)

"Demons" by Guster

"A Cautionary Song" by The Decemberists

"Subject A" by The Killing Moon